Sara Writes Sometimes. . .

Where am I?

Oh that's right...graduate school.

It now takes up all of my time.

So much so that I forget that the internets exist.

Which might be a good thing.

School is great, but intense and emotional.

I am making lifelong friends.

I keep meaning to write about it.

And upload pictures.

Only a year left!

Somewhere in here I am supposed to be planning a wedding.

And sleeping more.

I am procrastinating a lot.

But that's ok, because I am still getting the work done.

So, this is a check-in.

I will try to do this more often.

Does anyone read this anymore?

Justin and I will have been together for two years on Monday.

YAY!

[end most random blog]

Checking in

I am still around, but I never seem to have any free time now that school has begun.  Also, I am not sure how to formulate thoughts anymore.  The only time I have free time is when I need to get something done for school, and then I promptly figure out that something else needs to be done instead.  Why did I have to be born a procrastinator?  I have learned a lot about myself over the last month, in part because we spend so much time talking about our feelings as future teachers (it's not as barfy as it sounds).  I have realized that I am a better mother than I give myself credit for--but that I am far from where I would like to be.  I am still not a good housekeeper, but I am dedicated and warm in a crisis, making me an invaluable partner.  Kids invariably trust me--and after one week in a middle school I was called on by a student for some serious help.  I feel so insignificant next to these people with established careers, and I have to remind myself that I am only at the beginning of my journey.  There is so much more to come!

I would like to try to write more often because I seem to have lost all abilitity to communicate with the outside world.  We'll see how that goes.

One week of school down

After only five intensive days, I already have a million stories to tell.  Starting tomorrow, I will be in a middle school for two weeks, doing "field observation"--kind of like an anthropologist.  I am having to rent a car to get to the school I am assigned to--there is a much bigger story in this, and I will try to write that later.  It's dramatic!  I am paranoid about whether I will be dressed professionally enough, and if I will accidentally show students my cleavage.  Good things: I have gotten back my first three essays and have perfect scores on all of them.  I have made some friends I feel I will know for the rest of my life.  School is much different/difficult with a family this time around, but it is actually much more fulfilling.  There is so much to say.  I will try to write more later.

Love Letters before school starts

My soul/sole mate!

I start my first day of graduate school in just less than twelve hours. I am giddy and nervous. I want to share with you some wondeful blessings that I have been given by my parents and by Justin in honor of this day.  I promise you it will be heartfelt, cheesy, and fantastic.

I received a package from my parents yesterday that included a new lunchbox, filled with snacks and goodies, and an adorable note that featured my smiling mug, and the title "Our Sara's Off to School!"  The rest of the note (which is going to be hung on the fridge) says this: "Wish we could be there on your first day of school, as we were so many years ago!  But you are still our little girl! Pretty soon you'll be on the other side of the desk!  Love from Mom & Dad".  I know that I pretty much have the greatest folks ever.  I will be turning thirty years old in a matter of months, and they still feel compelled to shower me with the same affection and encouragement that they did when I was a child.  I love it, and wouldn't have it any other way,

And then there is Justin.  I really don't know how I deserve someone as incredible as this man.  Every day I feel like I have been given the greatest gift ever, that I am being given a new chance on life.  I sometimes stare at him for too long, incredulous that I "get to keep him", and unbelieving that he is actually my life partner.  We have a love that fairy tales dream about--I know how crazy that sounds, but it's true.  I always wanted to fall in love like this, but I didn't really think it was possible.  I can think of no other match for me.  We are a perfect pair. 

While preparing for school, I have been a little [ok, a lot] on edge, in particular about feeling guilty about not working and not being around to help at home with the girls once classes start.  But Justin has been steadfast in his support, and has soothed my fears.  If I ever doubt anything [and I never should], all I need to do is look at the card he gave me tonight [addressed to: "My True Love"]:

I Love You

You have so many things no one else will ever have.
You have all my love--now and forever.
You have my admiration--for being such an incredibly precious person.
You have my unending gratitude--for the way you brighten my life.
You have my hopes--all gently hoping you know how glad I am that you warmed my world and touched my very soul.

You have my every affection.
You have my desires and dreams.
You even have things there are no words for.
You have whispered words that belong to you, thoughts you have inspired, and blessings that have touched the deepest part of my heart.
You have the most beautiful wishes the stars and I can wish and my prayer that someday I'll be able to thank you for all this.

You have a standing invitation to share the days with me--and to be the one and only person who holds the key to my happiness.
You have arms I want around me, eyes I want to lose myself in, and a joy in your voice that I could listen to forever.

You have empty pages in the story of your life--pages I'd like us to write together...filling them with memories we'll make and stories that will travel beside us and carry us over whatever comes along.

You have my sweet appreciation--for taking my smiles places that my heart has only dreamed of.

And you'll always have me,
my "thank-God-for-you" feelings,
and soooo much love.

I am so very proud of you.  This next year will not be easy, but I will always love and support you.  Good luck.  You are amazing!
Your love--Justin 

I know that I am lucky.  I know that I have been blessed.  And I know that I can get through the next year--and any challenges that I may face at any time--with the love and support of the most important people in my life--my family.

Homemade, handmade won ton soup

I made this yummy soup- on Monday.  It was delish, but took a lot of prep time, because I made the won tons myself.  You can save the won tons in the freezer for a few months if need be, and you don't even need to thaw them when finally putting them in soup, you just have to increase the cooking time.  I used premade won ton wrappers, so I may have cheated for some purists, but it still took a long time.  There were some key prep tools needed...such as original episodes of "90210" that I watched online while folding my won tons.

The won ton filling is basically ground pork, chopped green onions, very small amounts of soy sauce and sesame oil, and a touch of salt.  To cook the won tons, you bring them to a boil three times, stopping the boil each time with a cup of cold water.  A fun process.  The broth is just chicken stock, with fresh baby spinach leaves, green onions and cilantro. 

pork filling, uncooked

won ton wrappers

watching 90210!

wrappers with raw filling

they smelled so good already i had to resist eating the uncooked meat...

Adorable little envelopes!

a bazillion folds later and I have enough to cook!

One of the many boil times

'Tons shocked with cold water

They are very very delicate...I had to ladle them very carefully into the strainer.

Won tons with broth, spinach, cilantro, and green onions

Two steamy hot bowls of yummy goodness!

Soup stirred up a little

It is very very tasty, but not meant for quick prep, unless you make the won tons ahead of time.  I highly recommend it!

Popcorn chicken is chicken with

Popcorn chicken is chicken with popcorn inside. Indiana should know because she had it last night for dinner. :D

Things that have been happening

[I am desperately attempting to blog with more regularity...so snippets will have to do for now...sorry for the non-eloquence]

• This fall, for the first time ever, I will have my own season-tickets to UW football.  I am beyond excited, and am pretty sure that this means I am officially a fan.
• Justin and I have been slowly gathering tailgating supplies, and we now have a tailgating box.  We aren't talking about things like paper plates or anything like that.  This is stuff like colored pompoms, megaphones, purple hair extensions and the like.  Justin also found a ridiculously huge purple and gold goblet that will be his official beer glass.
  
• We bought a new little propane grill yesterday that will be perfect for camping and tailgating.  I want to kick our tailgates up a notch, so this season we will be adding steak and salmon to the menu next to the standard brats and dogs. I think I would also like to have some kind of 7 layer dip action, along with cookies or cake or brownies or something else.  Ultimate goal: tailgating RV like 20 years in the future when we drink champagne and watch TV and look at the silly people tailgating out of the back of their Subarus. [Side note: champagne is consumed yearly at the Apple Cup regardless of current economic/winning status.]
• Football starts in like 5-6 months.  This is just too far away.
• My gray hair is really starting to show because I haven't dyed my hair in months.  Despite the streaks, Justin has said that he likes my natural hair color (brown) better than the red I have worn for the last 15 years.  Wishing it didn't take so long to grow out.
• This weekend I was rather impatient with Indiana and Scarlet. It's hard being an instant-stepmom sometimes. However, the second they were picked up yesterday by their mother, I nearly burst into tears because I didn't want them to leave.  Turns out I am desperately in love with them and can't stand the thought of them not being a constant part of my life.  I look forward to when they are older and we can actually have real conversations about feelings and such.
• Speaking of older, Scarlet turns four in a week! We are trying to curb the materialism/toy-ownership in their lives, and I went a little overboard last night and picked her up 7 different books. She may or may not be disappointed that she's getting books and not Barbies, but I am super-exited to read to her.
• We live across the street from Auburn Senior High School (where I hope to teach).  Our detached garage bumps up against an alley, and we don't have a complete fence.  On Saturday, Justin discovered that someone had spraypainted some "art" on the side of our garage that faces our neighbor's fence, as well as the fence. There was a lot of trash there as well--beer cans, malt liquor bottles, coke cans fashioned into pipes, candy wrappers, cigarette butts.  Now, this isn't in the alley, this is on our property, and not more than 20 feet from our back door.  Kinda scary.  We desperately need to fence everything in.  First things first, however.  We got some spraypaint remover, and yesterday afternoon in the rain, Justin and I were out there scrubbing the side of our garage.
• We wanted to take the girls to see the Jonas Brothers' movie on Friday night. Justin and I don't particularly care for the Jonas Brothers, but we thought it would be a fun family outing. Tickets were $15 each, for a total of $60 dollars.  I backed away fast from the counter and then had to tell the girls sorry, but we couldn't afford it. They didn't really care about missing the movie anyawy.  We went out to dinner instead, and then came home and watched "Dukes of Hazzard."  But seriously, wtf about $15 for a stupid concert movie.  Give me a break!
• UW basketball is freaking awesome right now.  My own school, Seattle University, meets up with UW on Tuesday. Justin and I may or may not get along until the game is over.  Then on Saturday it's the Apple Cup of basketball when UW meets up with WSU.  Good times indeed!
• Is this enough blog?  I think I am done for right now.
  

QotD: If I Were a Teacher...

If you had to teach something, what would you teach?

Whoa Vox, whoa. It's like you're totally in my head!

Hiccup is done! (and other quasi-profound thoughts)

Everything got cleared up, and I am all registered.  Still not quite sure what happened, but holy crap it was stressing me out.  I have a full load for my first quarter--20 credits, which I think is more that I ever took in one quarter in undergrad. My classes are as follows: The Teacher As Reflective Decision Maker, The Arts and Cultural Diversity, Middle School Field Experience/Seminar, Learners and Instruction, and Peer Coaching Field Experience.  That doesn't sound super exciting written out like that, but I am excited.

Everyone in the cohort has to read all of books before the start of the quarter.  I have a week to complete everything, and though I am reading for hours every day (I started a month ago), I am feeling overwhelmed.  I know it will be okay, but the reading is unguided, and I am not used to everything being front-loaded.  Pretty much over the next year I won't be reading anything for school--we will just be referring to what has already been read.  Blah.  It makes sense, I suppose, because there won't be time during the school year to do any reading.  Again, I have to remind myself that this program is different than what I had anticipated graduate work to be--it's not academic, in that there won't be lectures and essays and such.  I guess it's pretty apparent that I have no idea what I'm doing!

It's hard to believe that I will be a teacher by the fall of 2010.  Even though I decided I wanted to do this over a year ago, I still can't quite wrap my mind around it.  I used to scoff at people who assumed I was going to be a teacher because I have a BA in English literature.  When I was young--when I was a child--I always knew I wanted to go to graduate school, in part because my mom got her second Masters when I was ten (yes, my own mother has TWO MASTERS--how totally RAWR is that??).  She's a college professor, and I always imagined myself in that role, maybe, but mostly as a stunning writer, and certainly NOT as a high school teacher.  But as my life has changed, and I have matured and begun the stages of "finding myself", I realize that this is probably the path that I have always been on. I still have dreams to be a writer, but I also know now that I need more formal training.  I know that writing will always be there--but I need to have a career, and when I think on my life, and when I have been most inspired, those moments have always reflected academics and the teachers and professors who have guided me along the way.  I have idealistic dreams that I will reach and nurture countless adolescents and make everything better.  I know that is not what will happen, but those are worthy goals, nonetheless.

I am looking forward to seeing where all of this goes.

I just realized that I can't remember if I have ever mentioned how going to school is even possible.  I am going for free.  Well, not free, exactly, but, everything is going to be paid for, without financial aid, without grants, scholarships, or anything like that.  I don't have a nestegg set aside, and it's crazy to think that I am going to a private university that's going to cost me in excess of $30,000 in this economy.  But I need to give thanks for the blessings in my life. I think I avoided talking about school being funded because it was too painful for me, despite the fact that it was such good news.  Oh! Wait! I did write about it.  It helps to look things up on your own blog while you are simultaneously writing a post.  So, once again, I need to acknowledge my brother, and how his sacrifice has become his gift, and how he has utterly changed my life. 

Grad school admission: only a hiccup?

So I went to register online for my classes yesterday at my appointed time.  A notice came up that I was ineligible to register because I have to apply for readmission.  The notice is dated back from 2005, from when I graduated the first time.  Um, holy shit. I know it's a mistake, but I am totally freaking out, because there were problems with my admissions profile back when I was first accepted last fall (a clerical error, it turns out).  I am already so nervous and high-strung about going back to school because my entire career is hinged on it.  Also, we have snow again today, and I am worried about being able to get in touch with someone in a timely matter.  Classes start in little more than a week, and I already don't feel emotionally ready.  Gah! I know it will be okay, but I am still doing to freak out in the meantime.